Brit cricket called to Rest In Peace in daring obituary

In Affectionate Remembrance of English cricket which died at the WACA on 17th December 2013, RIP. This was what the 'Sydney Morning Herald' splashed with a picture of a gravestone on its back page ahead of the Third Test which began on Friday saying "England dead and buried". This mock obituary was run in anticipation of another and likely thrashing of the English by Australia in the Third Test which began at the Western Australian Cricket Ground (WACA) in Perth on Friday.

A victory in Perth will see Australia reclaiming and grabbing the

Ashes URN and celebrating after being stuffed by the Englishmen in the previous three Ashes series. The ignominy and humiliation faced by the Australians in being thrashed in the three previous clashes was too much for the baggy green caps to stomach. Had they lost this series, which would have been four in a row, it would have had Aussie cricket in ASHES. And to rise Phoenix like from the Ashes would have been next to impossible for the Aussies.

Conveniently forgotten

But apparently with the 'Sydney Morning Herald' daring to run the mock obit, they have conveniently forgotten or are claiming ignorance of the fact that a match or a series is not won or lost till the final ball is bowled. Accepted that England is two down in a five-match series. There are three more Test matches to be played and everything is not lost for the Englishmen. If the British Lion roars and devours the Aussies in the remaining three Tests, the 'SYDNEY MORNING HERALD' will have egg on its face.

In the Two Tests played, England has been blown away by the express pace and bounce and life threatening deliveries from left armer Mitchell Johnson. They lost the First in Brisbane by 381 runs and capitulated by 218 runs in Adelaide.

If the Aussie dominance in the two Tests is an indication, then they should rub the Englishmen in the dust at the WACA and proudly and delightedly hold the mythical Ashes Urn aloft at the WACA.

Lot of hype before series

Before the series began there was a lot of hype and the British Media and their ardent supporters had written off Michael Clarke's

Australians. Another thrashing and a 5-nil white wash was predicted. But they did not bargain for a resurrection by the Aussies. The

Aussies had pride and prestige to protect. To continue to lose would have been anathema to them.

From the moment the Aussies arrived home after the last bashing in England and this series being the first time that a back to back series is being played, the baggy green caps under Captain Clarke and Coach Darren Lehmann immediately got down to the drawing boards.

And their diligent preparations are finally bearing fruit. What really pumped up the Aussies and got their adrenalin flowing was the unsporting attitude of England fast bowler Stuart Broad who adamantly refused to walk after blatantly snicking a catch in a crucial Test in England.

Umpire did not hear or see

Accepted that umpire Aleem Dar did not see or hear the snick. But

Stuart, son of former England opener Chris Broad and now a match referee, would have shown the sportsman in him, had he walked. Australia had exhausted their Referrals. He stayed put and built a partnership which took the game away from the Aussies. The Aussies were convinced that had Broad 'walked' they could have won that Test and the series. The Aussie coach Lehmann was stung to the quick by Broad's lack of sportsmanship and vowed to get the Aussie spectators to get under his skin when England come and Lehmann has succeeded.

From the moment Broad's name was announced by the loud hailers on the Brisbane Ground, the Aussie spectators took Broad as a bite. Not only Broad, all England players were singled out for heckling.

Sledging to the world

In addition the Australia players who gave sledging to world cricket and who are champions at it, got under the skin of the England players and psychologically unsettled them. The pressure and the sledging which the Aussies call 'mental

disintegration', saw the first casualty in England's one drop batsman Jonathan Trott who had to jump the cricketing ship complaining of mental depression. In addition to the sledging, the Brits were bombarded by life threatening missiles from left arm fast bowler Mitchell Johnson who has instilled the fear of the devil into the English batsmen.

Johnson is launching with tremendous speed aimed at the ribs and head and the England batsmen are running scared of him. He has so far in the two Tests taken 17 wickets which shows his total domination.

Nightmare for batsmen

The Perth wicket is a nightmare for batsmen. It is the fastest wicket in kangaroo land and is the home wicket of Johnson. Predictions are that when Johnson unwinds, the Brit batsmen would be like jumping cat fish or cats on a hot tin roof. It is inexplicable the inability of the Brit batsmen to face him. They are so scared of him and have got their foot work all tangled up. In addition when he bumps, the batsmen have proved poor hookers.

The initial fault is that the batsmen don't watch him. Even before he delivers, the batsmen seem positioned to first save life and limb before getting in line and playing him. It will be interesting to see who the Brits will front up to bell the speed cat in Perth. We wonder what mayhem and devastation would have been caused to the Brit batsmen had Aussie speed guns James Pattinson, Jackson Bird, Mitchell Starc and Pat Cummins been available.

On the injured list

All four, unfortunately for Australia and fortunately for England are on the injured list. Had Australia let them loose a mobile hospital too would have been necessary at every venue. Johnson was not shown to the Brit batsmen in the previous series. He was dropped for poor form with the ball. The dropping was anathema to him which made him all the determined to fight his way back with a vengeance and now he is letting his pent up anger on the hapless Brit batsmen.

Incidentally it will be of interest to recall what Johnson did to the Sri Lankan batsmen in a Test match in Melbourne on the previous tour. When Johnson came into bat the Lankan pacemen with their gentle pace tried to scare him by bouncing at him. When it came to his turn, with his devastating pace he bounced at the Sri Lanka batsmen, injuring a couple and called finis' to consistent batsman Kumar Sangakkara by fracturing his thumb.

Hell hath no fury

It is said that hell hath no fury like a woman scorned. Similarly hell hath no fury like a fast bowler scorned by another of his kind. The Barmy Army, supporters of Brit cricket tried to upset Johnson.

But Johnson was up to the challenge and the more they poked fun at him, he let fly with a vengeance and probably the Brit batsmen must be longing for the tour to end and nothing untoward happen. Now that the Aussies are on top there will be no letting loose of the noose that they have on the Brit batsmen. If the Brits are unable to regroup and come back and fight fire with fire, their ambition of retaining the Ashes is lost.

With Johnson on fire it rekindled memories when Dennis 'the menace' Lillee and 'Tornado' Jeff Thompson bombed the Brit batsmen and led them to their destruction.Incidentally Mitchell Johnson was a Lillee find. And Lillee has

instilled the same killer instinct in the left arm bowler. And Johnson goes for the jagular from ball one. Lillee and Thompson are on record of having said that they enjoy seeing batsmen being hit and bleeding.

[email protected]