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Sunday, 21 September 2014

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The last chance

A slow smile spreads on my face as I feel the warmth of the morning sun on my skin and I open my eyes, the azure rays pouring in my room, striking the mirror and spreading gold dust everywhere, this is what I love about morning, a promise of a whole new day, a mystery that unfolds itself. I am the first one to reach office; I am always early.

As I headed towards my cabin I notice that Varun's cabin is open. Who is in there? I peeked inside and saw Varun in his signature crisp three-piece suit and managed to turn before he noticed me.

"Aadhya, Aadhya.. Could you please come in here for a minute?" Varun asked from behind.

I curse my luck and turned back to face him. Varun is always the unruffled kind of guy, from dressing impeccably to behaving with authority, but today he looks shaken up, his tie loose and has dark ringlets around his eyes.

Research report

"Why isn't SME's market research report on my table, You were supposed to submit it yesterday." He inquired patiently.

"Why Varun, are you losing your good night sleep over it? Or is it Tina?" I asked sweetly.

"Where is the report Aadhya?" He said.

"I am working on it." I said.

"Still working on it.. It's been three days Aadhya! What have you been doing? I want the report now, you know we crashed the project, every minute is crucial!" He shouted, Varun never lose his cool, what's the matter with him?

"Three days are not enough for such a big report and you know that Varun." I said.

"That's why I gave it to you... You would have completed it before the clock strikes one." He said I am a workaholic, it's no secret, just like Varun is but he has been losing his edge lately.

"I'll give it to you soon..." I said, of course I am ready with the report and the presentation but I am having too much fun seeing him crumbling down by every second we lose. No I am not mean, perhaps I am but he deserves it, he has shaken me more times than I can count, Its time he taste his own medicines.

Innocent

"You are doing it intentionally, aren't you? You want to punish me, punish 'ME' not other innocent employees." He reasoned, damn, he always gets through me and make me the guilty party, he is one cunning fox who rolls the whole game as he desires, but no, not this time.

"If you are done, may I go to work on SME's report?" I drawled.

"If we lose this client then it will be your fault entirely and I'll ruin your career, I mean it." His growled, I know he is well capable of doing so, only if he chooses to.

Warmth

I nodded and turned on my heals as if his outburst has no affect on me at all but in truth it has shaken my nerves, the Varun I knew would have never even dreamed about hurting me, what is happening with him?

By lunch I submitted the report and took off from the office, lying that I have a meeting with a client, I never lie but Varun's behaviour has gotten me worried, something is going on and I need to know what it is; I got to have a talk with Tina, his not-yet-girlfriend. Tina used to be a dear friend of mine but that was before I ruined it all, now everything is different.

I heard the screeching of tires, someone shouted to get out of the way, I turned to see what was happening and suddenly a SUV hit me hard.... everything went blank but there was no pain but warmth, I felt the warmth of sun on my face and I woke up with a startle. I am in my room, it's morning...

At office, I notice Varun cabin is open, I peeked inside and saw Him wearing the same clothes he was wearing in my dream.. Shocked I turn to get to my cabin fast.

"Aadhya, Aadhya.. Could you please come in here for a minute?" Varun asked me in the same manner as in my dream and somehow I knew it was not just a dream. I handed him the SME's market research report as soon as I entered. I don't want to fight, I know the outcome, I like fighting with him, at the beginning it was fun, getting him all rattled but recently it has become more serious.

"Oh thank God you completed it, this project is getting more and more crucial...." He trailed off seeing the expressions on my face "Earth to Aadhya..." he teased, his teasing and my morning not-a-dream crumbled the walls I have built and I confessed what I promised never to "I saw you with Sara..."

"Sara.... When... What are you talking about?"

"Three years and five months ago, in Delhi, I saw you with Sara when you two were cozying up at dinner."

Sara was his first love, his ex before me, she was always between us and that day he said he was having a bro-crises but he went to meet Sara.

Affair

"I don't... Is that why you left without a word, left me because you thought I was having an affair with Sara.. Aadhya... We.. I... God, you didn't even give me chance to explain!!" He pleaded being at loss.

"Explain... what was there to explain, she was always on your mind even after we started going out, you could never get over her... I needed you by my side that day, you knew how I was dreading to meet my father, I needed you damnit, but you chose to be with her... you always chose her over me, your first love.. so I did what I knew best, I ran away." I shrugged like it wasn't a big deal. But it was. It still stings like a fresh wound, like someone just ripped the bandage off, it is still bleeding, my heart.

"I did go to have a talk with Sara... but it's not what you think, Sara was my first love I agree but you are my true love Aadhya... I went to tell her to stay away, to tell her that I Love you and I am going to propose you.

When I came back, you were not there, even your father didn't know where were you, I turned the world upside down but you were nowhere to be found, you left me, us... you should have trusted me enough to give me a chance." His face crumbled and a drop of tear skipped his eye.

I can't believe I let my insecurities get best of me, I let my past rule me, I thought he is like my dad who left my Mum for another women, I went to States... I ruined it and Now... now I don't have time because I have a feeling this is my last day....

"I still love you..." he whispered stopping my trail of thoughts, My heart skipped a beat.

Agony

He took a red velvet box out of his pocket "I still carry your ring, I was going to propose you that day you know, I planned it all even your father knew about it... I understand that it's been three..."

"Yes" I replied suddenly without thinking, being selfish. I wanted my last chance of happiness, of Love, with Varun.

We went for lunch in Varun's car, I am almost hopeful that I'll ditch death this time as things seems to get on track but same SUV hit me as I was crossing the road to get to Varun's car, last thing I saw was Varun's face, scrunched in pain as if he was dying not me. His eyes were in so much agony that it was hurtful to look at him. "I.. always.. Loved you... always.. wil.."

I gasped my last words as everything went blank, again I felt no pain but warmth of sun rays on my face and I woke up exasperated and pinched myself hard... I know I am wide awake.. This is no dream but my last chance... I have repeated this day over and over, now I know the perfect escape.

At office Varun's cabin is open; I know what I have to do.

"Morning Varun." I handed him the report and waited, he didn't say anything as if waiting for me to continue.

"Tina is a nice girl, she loves you, she'll keep you happy." He gaped at me, he certainly wasn't expecting me to say this.

"It's not what you think, Tina is not my girlfriend Aadhya, I don't love her.. we just..."

Smile

"I know, you both share the same sorrow of losing me, you might not love her now... Tina loves you, she always did, but she won't say anything, she is too honourable to defy me..." I swallowed the lump in my throat "She loves you Varun, she will make you happy, you need to marry... you are getting old." I told him.

"Old!!" A small smile cracked on his lips... He sighed "I still love..."

"Don't-say-that... don't you dare say that, I left you without a word Varun, you cannot spend your whole life waiting for me and lose a person who truly loves you. Tell her she is the best person I've ever known, I am not coming back ... you have to move on Varun you have to forget me...."

I ran to my cabin choking, biting the words that threatened to spill, words that will break Varun. I remember hope and love I saw in his eyes, the pain of his face when he saw me taking my last breath, I cannot give him everything only to take it all away. No, he is better off without knowing the truth, I owe him that much.

I lived my last day thrice, I fought with him and I also got engaged... Who would have been lucky to have a perfect dive at their last chance? I took my last breath hoping that Varun will honor my last wish. I know he can't find a better girl than her.

This time there was no pain but also no warmth, only a dark tunnel with a mesmerising light waiting for me on the other side.

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