Block out that nuisance call

Vignettes

by R.S.Karunaratne

The telephone rings.
Mr. Norman picks up the receiver.
"Hello, Norman here."
"So, you're Norman?"
"Of course, I'm Norman. Can I help you?"
"Mr. Norman. I want to buy a coffin. Can you help me?"
What? You think I'm an undertaker?"
Mr. Norman hangs up the receiver.
The phone rings again.
The same caller. The same voice. The same question.
Mr. Norman bangs the phone.
The phone rings again.
The same caller. The same voice. The same question.

Mr. Norman gets so irritated that he starts banging the receiver on the cradle until it breaks.

That evening his wife had to take him to the family physician. He had queer symptoms. The doctor found that his neck muscles distended and mouth stretched wide open. He found that Mr. Norman's heart rate had gone up to 160 and blood pressure risen to 200. The doctor knew at once his patient was coming for a stroke.

Mr. Norman possibly did not know that we have to get on with certain people and situations however annoying they may turn out to be. If others know that you are hot tempered, they will try all methods of making you angry. It is the same with nuisance calls. If the caller finds that you are annoyed by his calls he will ring you again and again causing you to go off the rails.

On the contrary, there are people who never get upset by nuisance calls. For instance, one of my fellow scribes used to get nuisance calls mostly after midnight. At first a frustrated woman tried to irritate him by asking some silly questions. He listened to the caller and hung up the receiver.

The phone rang once again. He picked up the receiver but carefully avoided answering the call. In the same night he received many more nuisance calls but he remained calm as usual.

The trend continued for a few more days. However, my friend did not blow his top but went about his business as usual. As a result, he no longer receives nuisance calls. And he never had the necessity to visit his family physician.

J. Krishnamurthy's memorable words still ring in my ears: "Look at that tree moving gracefully. Study its secret of relaxation." I opened the window and looked at a coconut tree z with its fronds moving in a dignified sweep and rhythmic gracefulness. Krishnamurthy's message sinks deep into my mind.

People who think they have failed in life are prone to frustration. At the slightest provocation they get annoyed. They are ever ready to "give it back" to anyone who crosses their path. Most of the "job hoppers" fall into this category.

They leave their jobs not because they are underpaid. They leave simply because they cannot get on with people in an organisation. You might call it personality clash or personal relation difficulty.

We may not be able to master the art of being urbane and philosophical by keeping our emotional reactions under control. However, we have to make a start if we are to avoid falling into the category of disgruntled people who make their lives miserable by getting irritated by the slightest remark.

If we try to understand how and why people react in certain situations, we may be able to control our own reactions. One day a company driver transporting a few tired workers home after a late night shift stopped the vehicle at a bend and started cursing it.

Later the workers came to know that there was a slight mechanical defect in the van. The driver lost his cool as he had worked two or three days at a stretch. Luckily, the workers did not react. If they did, there would have been chaos.

Although it is a difficult task we have to keep our frustrations and emotions always under control. Dr. John A. Schindler in his bestseller "How to live 365 days a year" says that we have within our system the greatest of all health forces, the power of good emotions.

A frustrated man or woman may invent lies to attack his or her enemies. Once a girl ditched by her lover concocted a story that her ex-boy friend was having an affair with an elderly married woman. She spread the story among his colleagues and then went a step further by sending anonymous letters to his employer and parents. The boy who had a good education did not bother to react.

In fact, he casually mentioned about it to an elderly friend. The friend reminded him that lies won't last long and quoted an old German proverb: "A lie cannot run very far because it has short legs." As he said, the boy came out unscathed. What would have happened if he reacted emotionally could be anyone's guess.

We are living in a society where most people advise us to react vehemently if the situation warrants it. As a result, we abuse our abusers. We pummel our attackers wherever possible. We finally want to get rid of them and remove them from our path of progress. Until we get out of this vicious circle, there are bound to be clashes between man and man.