Mother courage

by Shanika Sriyananda

Can a mother stop grieving and forget a son who fought for his country till his death? Can a society neglect a mother who produced a war hero?

Living with memories of heroic sons, the only wealth that the mothers of fallen heroes have, the pictures of brave soldiers clad in army uniforms. These mothers are the silent sufferers within their own family and also within society.

But, an innocent letter by a poor mother of a war hero seeking help has turned a new leaf in the country's history.

"Dear Madam, My only son was an army soldier and was killed by the LTTE. My husband is no more and I lived with my son's family. After his death my daughter-in-law started frequent quarrels with me and was forced to leave the house. I do not have a place to go and now stay with a friend. I do not have means of surviving and need lots of money to buy my medicine as I am a diabetic".

"Karunakarala mata udau karanna. Mage putha hitiyanam mehema wenne ne. Obata budubawa ath wei". (Please help me. If my son is alive this will not have happened to me).

This letter written with a trembling hand way back in 2001, did not end up in the dustbin. Though the Madam was helpless at that time and could not lend a helping hand to the needy war hero's mother, her appeal was well preserved in the receiver's mind. And she lived a dream, where the mothers of war heroes were felicitated.

Several years later, the old mother's appeal knocked at the doors of the Prime Minister's office. Today this letter has motivated her - Mrs. Kusum Wickramanayake, wife of the Prime Minister Ratnasiri Wickramanayake, to embark on a journey to make the lives of mothers of war heroes better. She is now a mother to over 100 mothers, whose sons had fought bravely in the ruthless war.

As a mother of three grown up children and being a senior citizen, she did not give up her dream. Three-months ago Mrs. Wickramanayake, who is the President of the Seva Vanitha Unit of the Prime Ministers Office, took her first step to help these mothers.

With the help of the Ranaviru Seva Authority (RSA) she founded the plight of the mothers of the soldiers who died at the war and was shocked to hear that out of 22,000 mothers who lost their sons at the war only 650 were registered with the RSA.

She visited several houses in rural areas and came to know the agony of these mothers who cry silently and suffer alone. With no proper meals, no proper clothing and no proper shelter to live most of these mothers suffer due to step motherly treatment of the daughter-in-laws.

"They were surprised to see the Prime Minister's wife is in front of them lending a helping hand. They cried and came out with their grievances which made me cry. Most of them have been forced to leave their own houses after the death of their sons", she says.

"The authorities are yet to think about the mothers of the war heroes. Mothers of married soldiers are not compensated and only wives are getting the benefits", Mrs. Wickramanayake says.

It is very pathetic to hear and see the stories of these mothers. They gifted their sons for the sake of the country's future. But they are compelled to suffer alone. Most of them have been chased away by the daughters-in-law as they are burdens to the family", she claims.

At a meeting with the RSA, she put her proposal to the officials and with a great appreciation from the three forces and the Police all of them swore to make her dream a reality. Named as the "virumava Surakimu sathkaraya" by Kalasoori Arisen Ahubudu, the program will help these mothers to stand on their own feet after a years time.

Each mother will receive Rs. 1,000 monthly under this program. Over 100 mothers from four corners of the country have been selected for the financial assistance. The National Savings Bank (NSB) has come forward to open accounts for them and they can draw the money from the NSB branches in their respective areas.

A special badge with their picture and the logo of the Virumawa Surakimu Sathkaraya will be given to these mothers. Those who do not have NICs can produce the badge at the bank to draw the money. The other benefit of the badge is these mothers will be given priority when they go to any of the government institution, Mrs. Wickramanayake says.

According to Mrs. Wickramanayake, this felicitation is not a temporary measure to end the sufferings of these mothers. "We know that a mother can not afford to lose a child and her grievances will never end until her death. But what I want is to shed some rays of light to their lives and to make them realize that they cannot cry for the rest of their lives", she adds.

This novel program, which started without a cent from the State has become a reality with the help of well-wishers, who got the task of sponsoring these mothers. Still the avenues for donations are open and those who wish to join Mrs. Wickramanayake to make the lives of these mothers better can get more details from the Web : www.virumawa.com or from the Seva Vanitha Unit of the Prime Minister's Office. Those who wants to make direct donations can give the donations to the National Savings Bank No. 1-0001-09-7039-5.

Mrs. Wickramanayake says that the program, which commenced in a small way will be extended further offering financial assistance to fresh groups of mothers each year. "As a wife of a politician I have witnessed how some important projects were abandoned with the change of the government.

Some of the projects initiated by me suffer the same fate. Once I implemented a project to build over 100 houses to re-settle villagers who fled from their village due to LTTE threats. I wanted to re-settle them in the same area but with the change of the government that program was never implemented", she points out.

The first batch of 100 mothers will be getting their badges and pass books today at a ceremony held at the BMICH under the patronage of the Prime Minister Ratnasiri Wickramanayake and the First Lady Shiranthi Rajapaksa.

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A mother's sorrow

Even after a decade Chandra Dias (65) still mourns the death of her eldest son. Happy memories and high hopes which she had when Major Kapila Kithsiri Perera was alive still haunt her life.

After Kapila's professional achievements in the Sri Lanka Army, Dias family gave their whole wealth the piece of land and the house to him.

They happily shared the house with the son and the family with a small daughter. But the sudden death of this soldier son, the hopes of the Dias family was shattered and at the end the doors of their own house were shut to the old parents.

With no place to live, the two went to live with the youngest son, who earns a living by selling chilly and curry powder packets. Down with a spine aliment and being diabetic, Chandra Dias finds it difficult to survive and feels they have become a burden to their son who has to struggle to earn a living.

"I did not get anything, from the Army. My daughter-in-law received compensation after my sons death. One day chief-incumbent of the Temple asked me to apply to this program. And I applied and I am happy to receive financial assistance from the government", she says.

"I lost my son. And we depended on his earnings. Now we are helpless and we have become a big burden to our youngest son. We must thank the Prime Minister's Office for helping us", Chandra Dias says.