Lead a balanced life

Mr. Silva was travelling from Panadura to Nittambuwa in one of those semi-luxury buses which have some awkward seats. They are not spacious enough for two people to sit, especially when one is a fat person. Silva was a slim man. He sat close to the shutter so that he could see the passing scene.

When the bus stopped at Dehiwala to pick some passengers, a fat man got in and sat beside Silva. He found the seat was not big enough for him and started pressing Silva to the edge of the seat. When the fat commuter could not get extra space for his bulky body, he threatened Silva to give him more space. Poor Silva who was never ready for a fight with a stranger in a moving bus got up and allowed the trouble maker to occupy the full seat.

This is just one incident which shows different types of people living in our midst. Some are well balanced and courteous. But the majority are aggressive and they always try to kick up a row. The average person admires people like Mr. Silva because they are peace loving and easy to get on with. Even in offices some of the busiest people are willing to help others.

People often get hot without any valid reason. They think they can win the battle of life by fighting with others. The other day I met a man kicking his heels at a reputed bookshop.

He had come there to collect a small sum of money due to him for translating a book. On inquiry I found that he had finished the job of translating the book sometime in June. But everytime he went there to collect the money, the manager had given him various excuses.

"Today I am going to meet the Managing Director of the company. I think he will help me", he said.

"Are you not angry about this incident?" I asked.

"Not at all. I am a very balanced person. If I get angry and shout at the manager or his superior I will never get the money", he said.

"So, you are confident of getting this payment?" I asked.

He smiled and did not say anything. If the world is full of such people, we will have less problems.

I think this person leads a balanced life because he has come to terms with the lower levels of himself. Waiting for a payment, increment, promotion or even somebody's arrival can be frustrating. These inferior functions are common to all human beings.

Once Jung described four main functions in personality. He categorised them as thinking, feeling intuition and sensation. If anybody wants to lead a balanced life, they have to depend on the maturing and developing of each function.

The problem is that some people have developed one or two of these functions ignoring the rest. They think the undeveloped or under-developed functions are inferior and not worth developing. This is a serious mistake as all the four functions are essential.

Sometimes it is an interesting hobby to classify your friends and colleagues into these four categories. You will find that some of them are clear thinkers. However, they may not have developed the other faculties. Then there may be another person who has trained his intuition to give an accurate impression. But he will find it difficult to adjust himself to changing values of life.

Most women, by nature, are intuitive. Their judgements can be reliable within the range of their experience. But they may not be able to give us any reason for doing so.

The trouble starts when we expect others to follow our ideas. We think what we know is the truth. People with balanced personalities do not try to kill their opponents or throw stones at their critics.

Instead of finding fault in others, we must recognise our areas of less developed aspects of personality. If we cannot come to terms with ourselves, we cannot do so with others. It is such a balanced life that helps us to love our neighbours.

If we have trouble with our neighbours that is due to our own lack of development. As long as we remain immature in human relationships, peace treaties are of limited value.

The real trouble starts when we think we are superior to others. We may be superior to others in certain respects. But they may be superior to us in other areas. If we know our limitations and act accordingly, we are heading for mental health.

Those who cannot lead a balanced life can be easily identified. Some of them are eternal fighters. Others are so unhappy about themselves and want to give up everything including their lives. When you quarrel with your partner, your marriage is on the rocks.

If you fight with your colleagues, your job is in jeopardy. If you quarrel with your neighbours you will find it difficult to sleep.

Politicians, religious leaders and NGOs make a hue and cry asking for peace. Some people wage war for the sake of peace. To achieve real peace in this world people must have peace within themselves. If we are balanced and peace loving, this will radiate into the world.

I experienced this radiation when I sat in front of J. Krishnamurti. He was a well balanced philosopher who had peace within himself. We cannot experience this radiation in the presence of pistol-packing politicians and sober-rattling terrorists.