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The art of winning over hearts

"You baited the hook
Of your intelligence
With what I desire
To catch my heart
Which had been drawn
In the deep sea of
Criticisms"

                                                 - Panchamee -

You can't live alone in this world. You have to, always and often get on with people. Any one can move with people. But do you want to be exuberant in getting on with people? Do you want to have a holistic and magnetic personality that attract others toward you?

Do you want people to always gather around you and when you're absent to be missed and asked about?....It's simple...You simply have to apply some theories, of course these theories are not complicated at all. They're as simple as giving a bright sincere smile that is easily available with you when you meet someone.

Doubtlessly every one of us like to be good with people. No one likes to draw a long face and be away with people. How wretched will that be if someone doesn't like to be on good terms with people and to be alone. Prophet Abraham pleaded from God " Grant me honourable mention in later generations".

Winning your loved one's heart is not enough to live in this world. You should be able to win other's hearts as will. Your colleagues', your teacher's, your student's, your bosses' your elders, etc.

Can you remember how difficult it was to win your loved one's heart?. How many times have you followed him or her. How many things have you done to impress him or her. So why don't you try to win other's hearts as well at the same time, you try to win your crush's heart. For that you've to learn the art of winning over people's heart. In other words fishing people...

A pleasant face, kind words, good manners are powerful ways of attracting others. Most of all if you can be gentle toward people - that's one of the most powerful ways to win over people's hearts. Prophet Muhammad said "anything that has gentleness in it is beautiful by it".

Have you ever gone for fishing? May or may not be...But...have you ever gone for fishing people...?.....Sound funny..?...you might not have gone...have you?

Fishing people

Can we fish people?.. You may ask me ..Yes you can, I'll tell you how..

What's your favourite food? mine is white chocolates. Some of you may not like white chocolates. You may like something else. Perhaps I might abhor what you like. I'll tell you a little story. Do you remember the story of a fox and a crane.

The crane invited the fox for a meal and served the fox in a carafe in which the fox found it difficult to enjoy the meal and later on fox invited the crane and served food in flat plate which the crane found it very hard to enjoy the food. What happened there?

Both couldn't enjoy their friends. Because each didn't know what each other needed. You should give people what they like and not what you like. You can't catch a fish with ice cream simply because you like ice cream. You have to hook the bait with a worm.

Then you can catch a fish. You can't withhold it just because you hate worms. If you want to tame a dog, you've to give the dog a bone not a banana. Lloyd George, the Great Britain's prime minister once upon a time said "Why talk about what we want? that's childish. Absurd. Of course you're interested in what you want. You're eternally interested in it. But no one else is. The rest of us are just like you. We're interested in what we want".

Don't you like when somebody talks about what you like. Say, for example, you're fully interested in opera. Don't you like if I come and have a chat with you about Operas. You will most welcome my company.

What if I tell you regarding what I'm interested in?....about politics...Would you like to listen to me or hold me in your company when I constantly tell you that I would like to, one day, become a politician and tell you all the political stuffs that you don't like at all.

A minister might be interested in my acquaintance because he has the same taste. He'll welcome me in his acquaintance while you will reluctantly keep me in yours. That's why some people fall in love with a one who has similar flavour for things. Don't you like when I come and chat with you about your loved oneaaaa Yes there's no doubt.... Will you be interested in when I tell you about my fiance? No.. I know that.. We're forever interested in what we like, not what others like.

It's very important to talk about other person's interest not in your interest. It'll enhance your ability to deal with people and you'll be most welcome in other's company. Give them what they like and not what you like.

Theadore Roosvelt, one of America's presidents said "The royal road to a person's heart is to talk about things he or she treasures most"

If your child is glued to the TV and not interested in studies, don't go and turn off the TV or scold, spank or shame him. Instead tell him how he is going to reward if he studies and scores high grades in the exam.

Ask him if there's anything he really yearns for and tell him that you're going to buy that for him if he studies hard and score high grades. He will be interested in his studies. Arouse a keen desire in people for what people want. You can get what you want done.

U instead of I

Understanding people and their behaviour are taught in the scope of psychology. Dealing with people and winning them to the way you think involve some psychological facts. You don't have to get a diploma or degree in psychology, to learn that as I did. I can help you if you're interested in winning people's hearts.

Dale Carnegie wrote in one of his best selling books "You can make more friends in two months by genuinely interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you".

People are not interested in other people, they're interested in only themselves. When somebody gives you your group photo, who do you look at first?.. you first look at you. Am I correct?

People are also interested in things that interest them. They always look for" What's in it for me". If there's nothing for them in anything they will surely get away with it. If you have studied marketing you might know that when we go to sell something we have to tell the customer how it benefits for that particular person, not the details about the commodity you're going to sell.

In the English alphabet people are most interested in the word 'I'. Not the words V or U. When somebody talks to you, count the number of times that person uses I,I,I. Alfred Adler the famous psychologist wrote in his book titled What life should mean to you' "It's the individual who's not interested in his fellow men who has the greatest difficulties in his life and cause the greatest injury to others. It's from among such individuals that all human failures spring".

As for journalists, it's vital to be interested in people. If the person doesn't like people then he or she will not be able to be a good writer.

That's the first lesson I learned when I first entered the field of journalism. But you know this theory of genuinely interested in people not only helped me in my career but also in my casual life as well. So it applies to you.

Because we all are social beings. Day to day we have to deal with people. There's no one in the world who's living alone.

Dale Carnegie said "If you want other's to like you, if you want to develop real friendships, if you want to help others at the same time as you help yourself; keep this principal in mind, BECOME GENUINELY INTERESTED IN PEOPLE.

Being genuinely interested in people will greatly help in businesses. When we phone some companies for our need, if the telephone operator answers the phone with kind, gentle and soft words we like to deal with that company. If the operator speaks without any interest of us, we also lose the interest in dealing with that company. A famous Roman poet Pubililus Syrus remarked "we are intersted in others when they are interested in us".

Voltire said "By appreciations we make excellence in others our own property". Diana the late Princes of Wales said "Everyone needs to be valued". And Booker T. Washington said "If you want to lift yourself up you have to lift someone else".

The most important rule in the world, Jesus preached it this way "Do unto others as you would have others do un to you". So praise others in order to be praised.

"Love thy neighbour" he also said. The wisdom behind that can't be taken as simply as loving who lives next door. It has a wide meaning. The wisdom and the morale behind that is to be genuinely and sincerely interested in people.......